My Evil Cyborg

This is White Stallion-day!

2007-05-02T00:52:00.000+02:00

First there was a party.

Then I fell.

But in the end I got laid :)

DVDA

2007-04-22T18:36:00.000+02:00

I am as of now officially a believer. It can actually be done! For a very long time I couldn't imagine how this problem could be solved. Impossible! I said. But the local think tank accepted the mission to provide a solution for this ancient equation. And they delivered. Wonderful!

(purple = female)

Gratz GF!

2007-04-22T17:56:00.000+02:00

Hey babe! Even though you just got a little bit older (and wiser) you're still my hot young vixen and your sweetness remains unmatched. Being a poor old bum I have failed to give you the fancy gifts you deserve, but know this - some day, when I'm rich and own half of the goddamn world I'll buy us a fucking island (that I don't already own, cause that wouldn't make any sense) where we can go and live like dirty cavemen and do dirty caveman stuff all day long. Deal?

Chuck the nunchuck, chuckers!

2006-12-12T12:58:00.000+01:00

How many nunchucks can a chucker chuck, motherchucker?

I concur to the statements in mr. AFK's latest post! It is pretty obvious that the wii-controller looks nothing like a nunchuck. The Wii remote alone should simply be refered to as 'the remote'. The analog stick appendage should perhaps be called 'the analog stick', or 'anal-stick' for short. These two components in combination could perhaps be called 'the flail' because of the somewhat closer resemblance.

An alternative could be 'The dildo', because of further resemblance and functionality. Besides, they both run on AA-batteries.

Conclusion: Rechargeable dildos is the next big thing!

MEC bows before an epic supreme

2006-12-10T21:19:00.000+01:00

The author of A Red Letter Blog turned 24 today. This is why the company of legends gathered yesterday to celebrate the occasion. At midnight we were already over served and ready to hit tha club. By that time there was no more waiting, no turning back and no time to lose. The hour of his 24th year had come.

Rumor has is it, that a once tidy shoe had been completely dominated by a cascade of rejected gloegg early this morning...

Hat's off for you, old warrior.

Author's pick

2006-12-06T21:33:00.000+01:00

I was introduced to some quality material today. So this is me sharing.

Check this: Get Your girl into Video Games in Seven Steps

and this: Spelbloggen (For those of you who understand swedish)

Enjoy.

Old news

2006-11-28T13:12:00.000+01:00

Due to recent happenings of extraordinary magnificence I have taken some time off from blogging. But now I'm back with a quickie for ya. So here's a brief list of obvious, yet very important stuff.

Numero Uno:
Gears of War delivers! It even surpasses its own hype. Cliffy B's chocolate and peanut butter dream came true.

Numero Dos:
Gogol Bordello - Damn good show! The gypsy punks really bring it on stage. Now I know what real punk is supposed to feel like.

Numero Tres:
Tenacious D's latest record, the pick of destiny, is real smooth in the ear canal. Fuckin' tasty!

Ass-less underwear amaze cat

2006-11-14T19:34:00.000+01:00

One dark and misty night, when autumn had laid its wet blanket of decomposing leaves upon the land, a man suffered from a terrible fit of timestopping boredom. He was bored to the point where he no longer saw the need for the backside of his underwear - So he tore them asunder!

And the cat was utterly amazed.

Beating off, off beat and drunk

2006-10-30T23:24:00.000+01:00

I am of course as happy about the Wii as everyone else. It's cool and all and supposedly a gaming revolution, yadda yadda. No doubt.

But some ppl are treating it like it's the fucking second coming of christ. There's an unbelievable amount of ass-monkeys out there so hyped up on every single feature of this console that they are about done and ready to bend over and have a rough threesome with the Mario Brothers, just to catch a glimpse.

Those poor fuckers must have desperately been begging the old plummers to pull out -realizing it wasn't love, they just wanted one thing- when they saw this!

The anticipation of the holy one

2006-10-30T13:40:00.000+01:00

How I long for thee, oh holy one! Like the moth to a flame I am drawn to you. Do tell, will you be the end of me?

I've been told that good things come to those who wait. This time it just might be true. Even though the notion is based on so much hype that half of it could be distilled into one salty motherfucking cocaine overdose. But I know a hype-ridden flop when I see one. This, my friends, isn't one.

Gears... of... Waaar!

PSA

2006-10-27T14:02:00.000+02:00

A couple o' days ago we (the internet h4xx0rs) decided to launch a cool new experience for all of y'all! The hottest shit in town is called BOMBTRUCK and will be available to you in a near future.

BOMBTRUCK is a cooperation between MEC, /AFK , A Red Letter Blog, GIR and hopefully Zombie Grizzly Bear aswell.

I am happy to announce that my first article will cover BF2142!

pr0nsurfing

2006-10-26T03:00:00.000+02:00

I recently discovered that I have grown to dislike females with male genitalia. Perhaps I never liked them at all?

However, I do enjoy a sexy superhero from time to time!

More stuff for me

2006-10-18T12:39:00.000+02:00

Guess what I found in my mailbox. Another morale boosting present for me - Battlefield 2142. This time I'm talking about the full retail version which I, by the way, pre-ordered because of some stupid marketing trick. Yes, it's some kind of contest and the winner gets one of those Fatal1ty sound cards. I don't know if they're any good but I figured I'll sell it if I win.

Well, it seems I have no choice but to start playing this game...

MEC Salutes Legendary Hero

2006-10-18T00:09:00.000+02:00

As of now the Legendary author of /AFK, Dawg, is no longer 23 years old. That old ass-hat has turned 24!

MEC salutes you mr AFK!

A disappointment to cooperation

2006-10-17T16:50:00.000+02:00

Yesterday Saints Row finally arrived, exactly one month late. I guess it was worth the wait since I got it for just over half the swedish retail price. But still, one month is one month and keep in mind that this is the 21st century. Nothing i supposed to take that long anymore. Nothing.

Anyways, HenkeT (author of A Red Letter Blog) and I were all fired up about the co-op mode. We had this fantasy that co-op mode would be the single player campaign with 2 player support. At least. You know, just like in all other co-op games! I mean, isn't that sort of an unwritten law? Not in Saints Row it's not! Even though all signs point in that direction. You can even have a NPC follow you around, FFS! This NPC acts as your "homie", he rides shotgun in your car, shoots at whatever you are shooting at and even uses foul language! Just like another human player would do.

The existing co-op mode in SR has two levels. One where you and your pal carry boxes around while killing a lot of constantly respawning gangsters. In the other one you're trapped in an airport and have to make it out alive while a shit-load of cops try to gun you down. Both levels suck in comparison to what co-op should be and could have been if Volition only had copy-pasted that particular mode from whichever game that has real co-op. And they can't be complete strangers to copy-pasting since the whole game is a fucking GTA clone.

Therefore I am hereby officially asking Volition Inc: What the fuck was so fucking hard about making the co-op mode like I fucking want it to be?

The net game lobby is awesome, though. It's basically a deathmatch map where you can run around and shoot at each other while you wait for other players. The only thing missing is the possibility to sit down at a table and play texas hold 'em. That would have been the shit!

Intermission

2006-10-14T21:00:00.000+02:00

Crazy Joes Electrical Murder Tools Sunday Offer!
You can't afford to miss it!

The MG500 Plasma Bolter

This nasty old device obliterates just about anything! When those devious garden gnomes decide to start roaming the planet you're gonna wish you bought two of these!

The classical chainsaw

Priceless. Notice the brand; it's a Talon! Tommy would have been much better off with one of these.

What's with the turds, Dice?

2006-10-14T16:36:00.000+02:00

By now, most of you have already played the Battlefield 2142 demo. This article will help you figure out what you really think about the game.

As usual there was a lot of hyping going on at E3, Dice with BF 2142 was no exception. Some of you probably bought the hype, swallowed it, digested it, pooped it out and ate it again. With that said you're probably the disappointed bunch. The rest of you probably were tempted to suck that hype-tit, but didn't. Because you realized that BF2142 was just going to be a BF2 mod with a couple a of new features and hopefully a heap of bug fixes. Nothing more. You people are those who still can indulge in the well-mannered frivolity of this futuristic war for territory.

For those of you in doubt: The new sci-fi setting is pretty solid, not the dorky ass-fiend laser bonanza crap that sometimes finds it's way to the store shelves. And btw, Titan mode is a pleasant new game mode.

As you may know, Titan mode is about destroying the opposing team's mothership. And everything would be just dandy if the Titan health bars didn't look like they came from a stool sample.

Perhaps the makers of the Turd Twister will acknowledge this opportunity to make a new cool template, "The Titan Turd".

A small step for mankind, no leap for me either

2006-10-14T02:29:00.000+02:00

New graphics. I kinda like the new look. Plus GF told me it looks nice. More to come ppl, stay tuned!

A late summer sneeze-fart

2006-09-04T23:43:00.000+02:00

As I slowly approach the completion of project Pimp-my-blog, I realize that i'm very far off from the visual experience I had pictured in my mind. Ass.

I trashed it.

Nevertheless, my brain - a trusty companion of mine, has been working on a side-project. Which in retrospect might be the reason why the blog graphics are inconsistent with the mental image we developed just a couple of months ago. Distraction, people! The opposite of focus. He (the brain) has been working on what he calls "chat lingo and emote theories". To make it scientific, we developed a generalization of how people use laughter in their online text conversations. Of course we excluded "lol", "rofl" and so on. Those are just retarded. Instead we chose to focus on those non-abbreviated, verbose kinds of online laughter; like "hehe". The goal was to discover the meaning behind the different kinds of laughter, to reach inside the remote users' brains and read between the lines of their quirky little expressions. After weeks of contemplating peoples' internet chatting behavior, we've come to the following conclusions:

hehe - "You're a nut and you scare me."
haha - "You are funny, funny-strange, so i'm not actually laughing."
hahaha - "It's late and we/you/me are drunk."
HAHAHA - "I'm actually laughing, 'cause i haven't left my computer for 48 hours. Pain."

Feel free to use this summary as a guide whenever you encounter a laugher... er... rer.

Stay Tuned...

2006-08-10T17:46:00.000+02:00

I am currently working on the visual experience of this blog, so that it may please even the most sophisticated of men. This may take a while due to a handsome bit of procrastination; which, by the way, is the subject for the upcoming post. So quit your job and stay tuned!

A brave new evil

2006-08-08T18:41:00.000+02:00

Quelle barbe!